This is your captain speaking…

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard this Sunshine Airways flight to Wellington!

We’ll be taking off to the north and reaching a cruising altitude of 50 feet before making our descent into Wellington.

Our flight time will be 10 minutes, including the safety video and musical interlude. This is assuming you read at an average speed and you don’t go down a Youtube rabbit hole.

The weather at our destination is 10°C and cloudy, with a forecast of four seasons in one day and a chance of broken umbrellas.

We don’t have the budget for a safety video so go watch one of Air New Zealand’s. Stop your music for a minute and listen!

Please read the safety card on the table in front of you, even if you fly with us often. This information is specific to this aircraft.

1 safety card

In case of unexpected turbulence, immediately check GeoNet and post about it on Reddit.

If an emergency were to happen, please Drop, Cover and Hold.

The emergency exit is at the top-right of your screen if you’re on a Windows PC. It’s the little red x. No, you don’t get to go down the slide.

At this time we ask you to switch your electronic devices to flight m– wait, read the rest of this post first!

Thank you for flying Sunshine Airways, and enjoy your flight!

2 mouthed plane noises
[mouthed plane noises]
Oh right. You can put your music back on now.



Ahh, isn’t that relaxing?

 

☀️☀️☀️

 

Our cabin crew will be offering a choice of a Cookie Time cookie or –

COOKIE!

3 cookie

NOM

4 crumbs

Oh… kay. Would you like a cup of tea, sir? Oh, sorry, too late, we’re starting our descent already! Told you it was a short flight. Here, have some candy.

5 candy
Testing the rest of our fleet for… safety. Yep.

Flight attendants, prepare the cabin for landing. Flight attendants? Oh, wait, we don’t have the budget for those either. Fine, I’ll do it myself.

6 whooosh
WHOOOSH

 

☀️☀️☀️

 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Wellington! Local time and weather are available on MetService. If the forecast is sunny for the next ten days straight, alert Stuff immediately because this is big news. (Seriously.)

Please remain in your seat until you’ve shared this blog with everyone you know. (Please?)

Thank you for flying Sunshine Airways. We look forward to seeing you again soon!

7 Oh man, not again
Oh man, not again!

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