Don’t leave me drowning in your Sunday rain
It’s right down the drain I go
– Foo Fighters, Sunday Rain
I’m gonna talk you through the day I just had as an example of what not to do. It’s a warning to my future self.
Step 1: Don’t make any plans.
Don’t check in with your friends or other local acquaintances. Just resign yourself to the fact that you’re going to be alone with nothing to do and a day to kill.
If you had plans but they fell through, don’t attempt to make any new plans. Don’t have a fallback. You went all in on those plans. Dwell on them.
Congratulations, you now have nothing to look forward to! Scene set for the day.
Step 2: Night-time self-loathing.
When you wake up to go to the bathroom in the night, once you get back to bed, open up your phone and start surfing. Go on, you’re only gonna keep dwelling on those plans otherwise. Soak up all the instant gratification (and blue light) you can get. Whatever crap you usually browse. Reddit, Youtube, adult content, the works. Don’t worry, it’s Sunday, there’ll be plenty of time to sleep in afterward. Except of course you won’t, because the sunlight/noise/your bladder will wake you up at your usual weekday time. But you don’t know that yet, despite the fact you’ve experienced this several times before.
Step 3: Wake up at your usual weekday time.
There it goes. Lie in bed for a while, secure in the knowledge you won’t get back to sleep. Forget about making last-minute plans now – no one wants to see you like this. Oh well, you’ve got some hours up your sleeve. What better way to spend that time than…
Step 4: Gaming.
Preferably something fast-paced and mentally taxing, like real-time strategy. What could be more fun than building up a city and tearing down the neighbour’s one? Unfortunately, since you’re sleep-deprived, things don’t work out as well as usual. Your satisfaction evaporates, replaced by frustration. Time for the ace in the hole: cheat codes! Look on in guilty defiance as the enemy town burns in a hail of gunfire.
Okay, false start. But it’s only mid-morning, and you’ve got another strategy you want to try. Time for round 2!
Step 5: Share your joy with the world.
Now that your brain is thoroughly fried, it’s time to take on those errands you were putting off. Namely, groceries. It’s lunchtime and, on top of gamer brain, you’re getting hangry. It would have been nice and quiet in the morning, but that was gaming time! So you now get to experience the joy of grocery shopping at the busiest time of the day (if not the week).
Act like you own the place. This is your supermarket. Resent the fact that other people exist. They’re trying their best to get in your way and generally make the experience as annoying as possible. Don’t let them. Cut them off. Stare them down. Whatever it takes to get to the checkout.
Be sure to dither about your lunch options too. You want something cheap, healthy, and ready to eat, and you’re not leaving till you find it. No, it doesn’t exist, and it never will. Give up and go home to the canned food you already had. You could have just eaten that – why did you even go grocery shopping?
Step 6: More gaming.
Take out your grocery rage on some pixelated characters. Well, try to, anyway…
How to salvage something from a depressing Sunday
Step 7: Suddenly decide to do something.
It’s now late afternoon and you’re racked with guilt for wasting the day. But wait, it’s not over yet! What’s the quickest and easiest way to gain a feeling of accomplishment?
If you’re lucky, you’re feeling a tingling sensation in your legs at this point. That’s all the pent up energy from doing nothing all day. Time to strike. Get those training shoes on and hit the pavement!
Yes, it’s dark out. Too bad. Hey, at least it’s quiet now – a refreshing change from the supermarket!
Crush it for half an hour and bask in the warm glow of endorphins. Congratulations, you’ve done something today! But why stop now?
Step 8: Self-care.
Hooray, you don’t hate yourself any more! What better way to celebrate than with some R&R. Take a long hot shower/bath to clean away your sweat. Ahh, doesn’t that feel amazing?
Step 9: Don’t stop now!
You can have a good, productive day yet! You may be tired, but push through! Crank up the music and make yourself some dinner!
Way to go! You’ve accomplished something today, AND you’ve saved yourself some work in the coming days. I guess this Sunday wasn’t a write-off after all. But, looking back, it feels hollow. Don’t you wish you’d done something with the rest of the day?
Oh well. Let’s call it a draw.
Step 10: Promise yourself you’ll do better next Sunday.
You’ve got a week to make plans. Get on it!
How was your Sunday? What have you got planned for the next one? How do you deal when plans fall through? Let me know!